What Your Date's Resy Says About...YOU

7 reservation scenarios that say as much about your vibe as they do theirs

We all have bad date stories. Especially now that the digital landscape has changed the rules of dating (ie, the invention of catfishing or that facebook page where you can vet a man before your first date or catch him cheating). One of my favorite pastimes happens to be listening to and retelling my friends’ bad, albeit noteworthy, dates. Take one of my besties who was recently invited to Carbone. And what 23-year-old is going to say no to a date at Carbone? She’s from suburban Oklahoma – where Carbone is the legend of Drake songs, a place she could only imagine from the lyrics of the Degrassi star turned menace turned lover boy. And all of a sudden, some man that she’d matched with on Hinge offered to take her there. He wasn’t her usual type – a 5’7” warrior with photos that we both agreed looked a little too staged. But… Carbone. So she went, and yes, she confirmed he was a bit shorter in person. 

“But did you wear heels?” I texted. 

“😔” she replied. 

That means yes. 

As it turned out, height was not the problem she later explained. It was apparently his vibe. He spent the whole time telling her how much more expensive the table was because their reservation was for 8 p.m. instead of 7. His head was on a swivel for most of the dinner, scanning the other pasta-consuming patrons. And when he wasn’t looking over his shoulder, he was checking his email frantically (her word choice), or opening the calculator app, rambling on about “hitting his spend.” But alas, she left full, with a doggy bag of rigatoni and a good story to relay to me, which I am now relaying to you. 

The day after the date, I rattled off my laundry list of post-date questions. What was his sign? Did he roll his eyes when you asked him what his sign was? I asked more questions than he apparently asked her (he asked none). And don’t get me wrong, my bestie is a catch, one who deserves the most exclusive restaurant—deserves the whole entire world!—but what I truly wondered was: what about her profile told him that she was the type of woman to take to Carbone? And Carbone for a first date?? That’s a statement. So, as two young women in New York who prefer to have our suitors pick the restaurant (a good strategy to find new spots around the city), we began to wonder generally: 

What does their restaurant choice say about their impression of us?

After much consideration, followed by further conversations with my restaurant-savvy coworkers, I present a guide to what your date’s restaurant choice says about you.

THE HYPE-BEAST SPOT 

Take my friend’s date at Carbone as an example. You either 1.) found a date who is willing to flex at all costs or 2.) You matched with someone who happened to have a hype-beast reservation for two. Neither of these necessarily are bad things. It’s still a beyond-buzzy restaurant! It’s fun! You should go! But odds are, they want to impress you or impress people by dining with you. If the first is true, then you have a commanding presence. You seem like the type of person who needs to be wooed to be won over—not to mention someone they think will be impressed by the vibiest of vibe-y spots with a reservation harder to crack than Fort Knox. If the latter is true, be prepared to be treated like another side. So maybe order all the sides for emotional compensation. 

THE HOLE IN THE WALL 

This one can feel like a red flag. You meet, do the irl first impression, nail the awkward hug (or don’t), and they sweep you away, down the sidewalk to… an ambiguous door. Is it their apartment? Is it the diviest joint of all? And if you choose to proceed, you could find yourself in a restaurant that triggers your dining fight-or-flight. Or, if the Restaurant-Date-Gods are smiling down on the two of you, it could be the loveliest hole-in-the-wall-spot you might never have found on your own. Now this is almost antithetical to the hype-beast spot. Your date likely wanted to impress you, but with more subtlety, flexing on their taste and in-the-know knowledge of under the radar, deep cut spots. In other words, in you they see a person who appreciates the unlikely choice.

THE WALK-IN 

Now if your date has already agreed to pick the restaurant ahead of time and they haven’t sent an address by the big day, it is likely they’ll take you to a hole-in-the-wall spot and just want to keep the surprise factor. If not, then they’re definitely not a planner and they’re expecting you to be okay with that (Type As should take this as a red flag). This means that your profile could have an easy-going aura. If you do not, in fact, enjoy going easy, then you might want to add in a little prompt about structure or a picture of your handwritten planner…However, if the two of you slip into a cool, under-the-radar restaurant and they seamlessly score a table—because they're a regular, that rarest and most coveted of diners—consider the green flags waved. Yes, they’re showing you they have status, but it’s the type of status that can’t be bought, and they figure you go for such organically cool things. Bonus points if the two of you sit at the bar. Sure, it’s casual, but also cool, and reflective of the fun, perhaps flirty, and unpretentious vibe they already sense in you. Prepare for some bartender banter and a sneakily intimate conversation without the burden of glaring across the table into one another’s souls. 

THE DOUBLE/TRIPLE HITTER 

You meet for a drink. Perhaps you’ve had a long week and don’t want to commit to more, just in case you show up and are immediately put off (every heard of a vibe catfish? Aka, you get an immediate ick IRL, despite the profile so smooth even Matthew Mcconaughey would envy it). If so, you can have a little bev and dip. But if things are going well, you find yourself at a second location for a little food, and maybe even a third for a nightcap! This says more about irl you than your profile. Being around you must be refreshing, like a relaxing drink. Your date recognizes this and wants to prolong their time with you. Maybe just have a friend look at your profile and make sure you’re not selling yourself short… unless you want to. It can be nice to be surprised. 

THE FAST CASUAL 

Run. Especially if you’re somewhere like New York, with an array of amazing date restaurants to choose from. (Unless it’s 2:30 a.m. after a night out and you’ve been together for a minimum of one year; check all those boxes and by all means enjoy the Buffalo Wild Wings). 

THE CAFE/DESSERT 

Who doesn’t love a little evening/weekend treat with a tea or coffee? Often this is the perfect setting for a nice, long, chat, with lots of reciprocal questions (hopefully). If your date suggests something like this, it could mean that you have a very wholesome vibe and/or seem to be looking for something serious. And these are not mutually exclusive. If the sparks are sparking and you’re looking at them doe-eyed by the last bite of mille-feuille and the bottom of the mug, then feel free to set up another date. 

THE DINER 

While diners have their undeniable charm (every restaurant is a club or a diner after all), they aren’t always the ideal first date spot. If your date proposes this as a breakfast/brunch date, consider yourself aligned with the cafe/dessert date. But the diner at night – that’s a power move. And a little, shall we say, unexpected. They find you intriguing and are prepared to hunker down for a long chat. They want to know alllll about you. They’re comfortable in their own skin and sense the same about you. Or perhaps their name is Logan Roy and/or you meet them on Seeking Arrangements. Shhh. We won’t tell. 

There you have it — our definitive guide to what your date’s reservation says about you. Or at least the one I live by. Speaking of which, after a long weekend of swiping, I’ve just penciled a date at Nobu into my calendar for Friday. A hype-beast spot, for sure, but – what does Drake say about that one… “Eatin' crab out in Malibu at Nobu." And when Drizzy name-drops a restaurant, you have to be intrigued. So though I, a twenty-something in the city of dreams and amazing restaurants, do not have a Nobu plug (yet!), there will always be a curatable profile, a swipe or two, and a match who does.  

And a girl’s gotta eat, after all.

Hailey Colborn
Community Manager
Blackbird Labs, Inc.