What Your Restaurant Merch Says About You
Just what are you trying to tell us with that St. John Tote Bag, my guy?
Back in the day, restaurant “merch” meant an old t-shirt you wore for softball practice and sleepovers, stamped with the name of the local burger joint down the street. Sure, you had outliers like The Black Dog Tavern in Martha’s Vineyard, which stumbled its way into a cute black dog logo that sparked an entire sweater line worth more than the restaurant—and maybe the island itself—but those stories were few and far between.
These days, it’s different. The door’s been blown off its hinges. Restaurants are turning their brands into marketing juggernauts, monetizing every bit of likeness. Restaurant merch is being dangled like a carrot, and folks are biting. For the record, we here at Blackbird fully endorse this trend – the more great restaurants can capitalize on their brand the better.
But back to the merch itself. As in, what is the guy in the backwards Il Buco hat trying to tell you? That he has a great affinity for rustic Italian served alongside a tremendous wine list, both by the bottle and glass? Or perhaps he is telegraphing that a $300 pasta dinner on Bond Street is just a Tuesday night?
Here are a few of our favorites, each one befitting a different personality. Even if you can’t stand the person wearing it, you’ve gotta admit they look pretty good.
St. John Tote Bag - London
For the gastro-heads, St. John—the famous Central London snout-to-tail restaurant—is the shrine, and the classic tote bag its holy grail. The pig logo, a nod to their snout-to-tail philosophy, is about as strong as they come. The restaurant naturally weeds out the unadventurous, featuring dishes like Chicken and Ox Tongue Pie…not for the faint of heart.
What you’re trying to say:
If you spot a St. John Tote on home turf, it deserves a tip of the cap. A trip to St. John isn’t exactly tea at Windsor Castle. The tote signals you know a thing or two about food and have made the pilgrimage to back it.
Where we will spot you:
Back in the States, you’re bombing around Flushing or Harlem looking for a niche taco place. Manhattan no longer excites your adventurous palate. You dragged a date to Astoria for “the best Egyptian she’s ever had.” She ghosted you shortly after, but her loss — you’re headed to a guy who cooks traditional Chinese out of his backyard this weekend.
How to pull it off:
This tote deserves more than just being your everyday office cruiser. Load it up for a picnic: Salumeria, smelly cheese, a bottle of wine, and a Sunday journal. Off to a good start.
IYKYK Rating: 10/10
Paul Bert Shirt - Paris
Paul Bert used to be a deep, deep cut, reluctantly passed around by folks in the know as the place to get the best steak frites, maybe of your life. Unfortunately, like all good things, social media has outed this well-kept secret (is nothing sacred?).
The silver lining? Giftshop Paris. Despite a few press hits, this brand, which assembles one-off collabs with iconic brasseries, has stayed niche. Brasserie Lipp, Fontaine de Mars, and, of course, Paul Bert. The secret is out on the steak frites, but Giftshop still remains for those in the know.
What you’re trying to say:
You went on a solo trip to Paris to research wine-bar concepts…long lunches with Hemingway in hand (or, even more of a signal to the heads, some A. J. Liebling), and it was transformative. Even if you ordered the sweatshirt online and had it shipped straight to your door…we’ll never tell.
Where we will spot you: The well-curated mystique makes it hard to spot you, honestly. Whether it’s performative, the byproduct of a trust fund, or a little bit of both text us back, we’re worried.
How to pull it off:
Cigarette in one hand, espresso in a ceramic in the other. Despite being back for a month, you can’t shake saying “bah oui” instead of yes and insist on a crisp pack of Gauloises rather than the P-funks your rube-like friends still puff. Speaking of which, those friends are waning, but they’re just jealous of that Paul Bert sweatshirt.
IYKYK Rating: 9/10
(Pro tip: Paul Bert just dropped a collab with Frenchette. If you’ve got one of those, 11/10.)
Lucia Hat - New York
With the iconic green-and-white Lucia pizzerias popping up all over New York (including the new Gramercy location), their classic Italian-style logo was too good not to slap on a hat. But they didn’t stop there — tees, beanies, the works.
What you’re trying to say:
You’ve been around the block. Lucia is the pizza New Yorkers go to. L’Industrie can keep their hypebeast lines. Fini the cult following. Lucia has stayed a neighborhood spot.
Where we will spot you:
Everyone knows the one unemployed friend (sorry “creative director”) hanging out on a random Tuesday in Dimes Square. They’re wearing this hat.
How to pull it off:
Levi 501s, white tee, Adidas Sambas, iced coffee. You’re out the door.
IYKYK Rating: 8/10
Amber Waves Hat - Hamptons
Amber Waves is a small not-for-profit farmstand outside Amagansett. Since 1954, they’ve served the community with some of the island’s freshest produce.
That said, they’ve probably raised more money from the cult-like following of their hats than from all the veggies combined.
Where it gets interesting is who wears them: outside of the crunchy intended audience, there’s the West Village girlie and the private-equity dad (with the beaded Buddhist bracelets, of course). At first glance, these personas have nothing in common but a deeper look reveals the hat may not be the only through line…they summer in the Hamptons, have an affinity for $100 lobster salads, and know a guy who can get them into Stephen Talkhouse. The Amber Waves hat remains a badge of honor.
What you’re trying to say:
You summer in the Hamptons…that’s literally the only thing they are trying to say.
Where we will spot you:
Vintage Defender cruising down the Montauk Highway, a group of girls on the 4:06 LIRR Cannonball, divorce court.
How to pull it off:
Even though this hat falls victim to unfortunate occasions, it’s a great trucker. Pair it with white Vans, those aforementioned beaded bracelets (both parties seem to wear them), and a tee from Montauket, and you’re ready for a sunset rum punch.
IYKYK Rating: 2/10
Fini x Local Hoops - Brooklyn
Everyone knows Fini has one of the best slices in Brooklyn, if not New York. What you may not know is that Fini hosts youth basketball tournaments, competitions, and clinics — winners take home “Fini Pizza for Life!”
So naturally, they teamed up with Local Hoops. Like the pizza, most of the collab is sold out, but it’s worth having a look.
What you’re trying to say:
The Fini hat seems to be a mainstay for anyone who’s moved from Manhattan to Williamsburg in search of more space. You traded your studio for a two-bedroom, a significant other, and a dog. The Fini merch says, “Despite all that, I’ve still got it… right?” (Scratches neck nervously).
Where we will spot you:
Dragged to Barry’s class by your significant other. The hat is the only thing hiding the horrific hangover from last night’s “drinks with the fellas.”
How to pull it off:
The whole Fini x Local Hoops line belongs on a basketball court. Whether it’s the Knicks game or pickup at the local park, reach for the Fini Hat.
IYKYK Rating: 6/10
Elena - Montreal
Elena, a new-school pizza and pasta spot in Montreal, could stand alone as an apparel brand — and in some ways, they do. Their “boutique” includes chore jackets, water bottles, Ciele hats (deep pull), and even croakies that would make Connecticut lax bros proud.
What you’re trying to say:
This is for the true culinary heads, you’re saying that you don’t mind an eight-hour trip north to Montreal to get that French injection when “Paris is just not in the cards this year.”
Where we will spot you:
You fancy a good slice with great vibes, you are likely headed to Parla, Emmets on Grove, Joe and Pats in LA or Rubirosa in its heyday…you’re a cool cat.
How to pull it off:
Pair the croakies with Steve McQueen’s signature Persols from The Thomas Crown Affair.
IYKYK Rating: 10/10
J.G. Melon - Upper East Side
These are the pieces your dad might’ve rocked. If you grew up on the UES — Dalton, Horace Mann, Columbia Prep, one of the like, you might’ve reluctantly worn the tie Grandma got you for Christmas. The UES is back, and so is preppy couture, so no surprise the iconic Melon logo is everywhere.
The best part? They list the merch right on the menu, as if it were a side of fries. Just remember, cash only.
What you’re trying to say:
You grew up on the Upper East Side. Every Blackout Wednesday since you were of drinking age (14 for New Yorkers) started at JG’s. You roll your eyes that the UES is hot again, but never worry that there is a line, Bobby (RIP) behind the bar knew you were family.
Where we will spot you:
Anywhere but Brooklyn.
How to pull it off:
Khakis, Barbour, and a good pair of Belgians.
IYKYK Rating: 7/10
Fanelli Café Sweatshirt - SoHo
Smack in the middle of SoHo — the epicenter of fashion — it’s no surprise Fanelli Café has dipped its toe into the merch game. Of course, being just south of Houston, it has to be a hoodie. Flip the logo upside down and you’ve got yourself a $60 collector’s piece…available only at the bar for even the most discerning hypebeast in your life.
What you’re trying to say:
“I swear, bro, I think the bartender is into me.”
Where we will spot you:
Corner table under the sign, any season. When not at Fanelli, you’re below grade at Lure Fishbar (RIP) or down the block at Balthazar for a French 75 and seafood tower…as long as someone else is paying (there’s always someone else paying).
How to pull it off:
This is the perfect boyfriend sweatshirt, the one stolen the morning after a night out. Grab it and never give it back.
IYKYK Rating: 6/10
Great White — Los Angeles
Right under the Venice sign, just off the canals, you’ll find one of the greatest all-day cafés from the Aussie team behind Great White. A stone’s throw from the Pacific, the shark logo is everywhere.
What you’re trying to say:
You’re far more likely to do morning yoga than a Saturday lunch reservation, but if you must: “We’re going to Great White.” And no drinks…too many toxins.
Where we will spot you:
Santa Monica and Venice, full stop. You stay west of the highway, always. Fine…you went to the Hollywood Hills once because a friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend knows Charlie Puth but that’s it. When you need to detox the next morning, we’ll spot the shark hat at Great White.
How to pull it off:
Barefoot, matching Great White towel, Bieber smoothie from Erewhon. Great White’s avocado toast, while basic, is admittedly pretty good, but the merch is even better.
IYKYK Rating: 6/10
Lords - Greenwich Village
First came Dame, born from a popular Covid pop-up serving some of NYC’s best fish and chips. Then came Lords — a nod to London pub food and its trendy love affair with offal (wonder where that idea came from…cough cough). Now they’re over at 10 Downing Street with their third concept. Seeing a theme here, as such it’s only fitting that Lords merch draws inspiration from Oasis-style tees and the classic soccer scarves.
What you’re trying to say: None of us actually know what you’re trying to say lLiterally) ever since you went with your grandparents to London it’s “pint” instead of “beer,” “pub” instead of “bar,” “uni” instead of “college,” and “footy” means “football” rather than America’s sport.
Where we will spot you:
Glued to the couch every Saturday and Sunday watching “prem,” because how could you possibly watch a sport with ads?
How to pull it off:
Pint of Guinness in one hand, scarf around the neck, Blundstones on your feet. You nearly got a whippet to complete the look, fortunately, someone talked you out of it.
IYKYK Rating: 8/10
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