5 Restaurants Every Diner Should Have in Their Repertoire
Don’t judge a fellow diner by the reservations they reap, but by the sneaky good staples in their back pocket
Reservation culture is out of hand. We all know this. Drops, bots, wait lists so long and tragic Tolstoy might as well have written them. Everyone wants to snag that elusive table that, if we ever do manage to score it by some deus ex machina twist of fate, might well never measure up to our unrealistic expectations.
Hot spots are also expected, and patronizing them—if you are so lucky—usually speaks more to your susceptibly to trends than anything about your taste level. In other words, unless you’re Drake, saying you love Carbone is neither believable nor revealing.
The true mark of a good diner, I would argue, is the unsung staples they’ve got in rotation — restaurants like the five I’ve broken out below.
The Suitable Slice Joint
Have we reached peak pizza, or is there room for our fandom to get even more ostentatious? Who knows. No shade on the artisanal spot with a line that wraps around the block, but for every naturally fermented pie you fawn over, you should be equally intimate with that local, no frills shop serving a respectable slice that always does the trick. When I lived on the Upper West Side, that was Sal & Carmine — no lines, empty seats as far as the eye could see, a slice with zero flop that constituted, for my money, the platonic ideal of classic New York pizza. Now that I’ve relocated to the Upper East (I know, what a trailblazer), I’ve got a spot that most self-identifying “foodies” would snub their nose at, and while its mostly mid slices might validate their snobbery, these folks would be missing out on a sublime Grandma square that never fails to satiate the #iykyk crowd.What to look for: A spot within close proximity to one’s apartment, office, or between the two for on-the-go consumption (the proper way to eat pizza); minimal lines; a respectable cheese slice or some subtle standout, neither of which are ever served too hot; a TV playing La Liga or Premiere League games — bonus points if commentary is in Spanish.
The Neighborhood Diner
By definition, one’s diner of choice should be within a five-minute walk of their home. Is any grilled cheese really worth the Uber? If it is, then the place serving it ain’t a diner, and do you really want to give your hard earned money to people who brag about reinventing the grilled cheese sandwich simply because they choose to serve it on sourdough? At any rate, we love diners, and so should you. Diners say “yes” to everything (chocolate chip pancakes, buffalo wings, and martinis for dinner? You do you, king), the menu is always the same no matter where you go, the vinyl booths are as cheap and plentiful as the coffee, they’re great for business meetings, especially when you want to throw someone else off their game, and you can linger at one for as long as you like, all with your server coming by every 15 minutes to make sure you’ve got everything you need.
What to look for: A good chili, a pizza turkey burger, a loveably grouchy owner, preferably of Greek origin, a desert counter with black and white cookies (hold the cellophane), no entree in excess of $23 — if it does, a diner this is not. Bonus points if the place is open 24 hours.
The Low Key Date
Flexing on a first date by taking someone to a hype spot is a definite red flag. It’s arrogant. It’s thirsty. It’s…how far in advance did you score this Tatiana two-top and who was it originally intended for? The questions are endless, and the last thing you want is your date’s mind to be spiraling when you’re just keen to make small talk. You should choose a spot that’s commensurate with your expectations, i.e. low key, proving you can read the room. Think: underdog, the type of spot that, over the course of a simple meal, will surprise them, as will you. The actual type of cuisine is less important, although you could do far worse than selecting dim sum. My favorite, however, is Lupe’s — sneaky good LA-style Mexican on the border of SoHo and the West Village.
What to look for: A place that proves you have taste but aren’t susceptible to the latest trend. Bonus points if this spot has the potential to evolve along with your relationship, becoming the kind of standby you two will return to anytime you’re in the mood for an impromptu and unpretentious date night.
The Hot Spot Time and TikTok Forgot
Like that narcissist who quickly abandoned you in favor of their next conquest, the public’s appetite for hot spots can be fickle, meaning these restaurants are sometimes short-lived. Either they close, or they soldier on while the public moves to the next flavor of the month. But here’s the thing: a hot spot that endures, albeit at a slightly lower wattage, means the hype was worth it all along. And now it doesn’t have the impossible-to-snag resy. That’s a win-win. In NYC, think of places like Peasant, Barbuto, Raoul’s, a little place called The Odeon.
What to look for: Is it still open? Is it relatively busy? Is the same team more or less behind it? Does the menu still measure up? Congrats, you’ve found your white whale.
The Bar With The Burger
We’ve all been there: champing for a post work drink before hitting that prime 7 p.m. two-top that’s been on our calendar for six months, only to think—mid conversation and halfway through our second cocktail—that we’d rather just stay put. In this case, you need a bar with snaggable seats (not a gastropub, what is this 2009?), one with an avuncular and attentive bartender who knows your drink order, a menu boasting a respectable burger (please, no butcher board and a steak knife impaling the poor thing), slender fries that rival McDonald’s with their crisp golden deliciousness (and pair perfectly with your martini), and a shrimp cocktail bejeweled with ice to set the tone. Yes, Fanelli does all these things rather well.
What to look for: All of the above, preferably within walking distance of your office.
🎁 Bonus: The Breakfast Meeting Go-ToThat’s go-to, not to-go. In an effort to optimize our lives, all in the name of grind culture, have we completely forgot about the pleasure of the business breakfast? Maybe you hit the ice plunge and chug Soylent in front of Zoom (sincerely, I’m sorry), or you conduct these at your diner, or your local coffee shop, in which case—and contrary to what’s suggested in the diner entry above—I suggest stepping things up a notch. Cities are those rare locales where one can talk shop in civilized places like Balthazar and Raf’s, over things like eggs and figs and flat whites, all on a Tuesday morning where a meal can be timestamped (say, 45-minutes) without coming off as rude. Interest piqued? Stay tuned for a breakfast announcement from Blackbird next week…
What to look for: Movers and shakers; bonus points if you spot an o.g. Faema espresso maker behind the counter.
James Jung
VP, Content
Blackbird Labs, Inc.
I think Raoul’s fits the bill nicely for slot 4 & 5. 😉
https://www.facebook.com/knollasdt is my suitable slice go to. Order online, walk across the street and receive my slice, a sacrament of sustenance. Its crust, a delicate balance between crisp and yielding, cradles a symphony of flavors. Pepperoni, like crimson confetti, dances upon a bed of molten mozzarella. The veggie-loaded variant, a verdant mosaic, beckons the health-conscious. And for the daring, the spicy slice—a rebellion against blandness. All for a modest $7/slice for the Works.